"And So It Ends, It’s Time To Let Go"

Christmas has been and gone, and although it was a quiet affair it was lovely. It was just Andy and I so there were no expectations or too much family. Just us, good food, the seasonal Matrix Trilogy and a fuck tonne of presents.

I am so grateful for all the gifts I got this year. First off, there was a bread maker from my Sister in law, I have already made bread in it and it was delicious! Although my slicing technique certainly requires practice. I received a freestanding mixer, which is something I've wanted for a few years now (Bake Off's fault!) so I'm going to have to break that out soon! Other things I've received include Portal the Board Game, Nimona Graphic Novel, Thor: Goddess of Thunder, a hobby organiser case, DruidCraft Tarot (I've been after this for years), a beautiful Labradorite and Moonstone Pentagram necklace and earrings, Earth, Air, Fire & Water by Scott Cunningham (a follow up to Earth Power I still have to finish...) and a beautiful Steampunk necklace on a heart of lava!

Finally, two days at Alton Towers complete with two nights in a beautiful lodge in their "Enchanted Village" I'm excited! But I have to wait until April, but I think I can cope :)

There are three days left of 2015, and despite the good that came from it, I will be almost glad to see the back of it. Although lots of good came out of it, lots of weddings, Husband and I finally owning our own house, it was a bit naff too.

I've spoken about my anxiety in the past and this year it's come back at times to totally kick my arse. I've not achieved as much as I'd have liked. For example, I am, currently, not even reaching reading 30 books on Goodreads. I'm not even sure a lot of those count really as they are short stories instead of books. I haven't done anything with jewellery really, I've made some as gifts but then it's been put away in the corner. I've lost weight and then I've pretty much gained it all again. I've not done as much exercise, I had started Couch to 5k but my foot hurt so I stopped. I never started again. I haven't gone to any pagan events, I haven't seen a large chunk of my friends, I haven't really been anywhere.

I want all that to change next year, I want shit to get done.

Now as you know, I'm doing my 100 goals for 2016. I've just finished number 50, so I shall present to you my goals from 30 - 50

30. Start a savings account (I am capable of saving, so instead of getting excited about having money and spending it all, it's going into an account for future use/projects/holidays

31. Take better care of myself (Basic things, showering every day, not just when I feel like it, developing a skincare routine, making sure I give myself the time I need for these things!)
32. Go on a Rollercoater at Alton Towers that scares me (which would be about 99.9% of them(
33. Be more thrifty
34. Write poetry (Channel my inner emo Kylo Ren)
35. Do at least one interesting thing a month (like visiting a museum or going somewhere new or trying something new!)
36. Get a tattoo (Something I've been thinking about a lot recently)
37. Do more painting - discover my style (If I have one)
38. Try Watercolours again (I failed in these attempts in the past)
39. Do yoga (I have found a video series on youtube I am going to start doing soon!)
40. Crystal Database Project (This is something I started about 2 years ago, the more crystals I collect the more difficult it's getting!)
41. Say yes to something I wouldn't usually do (within reasons...)
42. Spend a weekend without my laptop or phone. (I'm sure it's possible...I will read, do art, make jewellery and probably fall asleep)
43. Surprise someone with an unexpected gift (why should all my goals be about making me happy?)
44. Buy more art (I want art by Julia Jeffery, Laura Daligan and more by Linda Ravenscroft!)
45. Complete a colouring book (wish me luck)
46. Paint my nails (I do not honestly remember the last time I actually did my nails. At least a year ago, if not longer)
47. Don't buy anything for a month (so somethings are allowed, food for example and I am going to be starting a subscription service I'm allowing myself that. And if I have Amazon vouchers, that's allowed but no money!)
48. Try new things in my favourite restaurants/takeouts (I always have a Balti with Mushroom and Spinach from the Indian and Chicken and Mushroom from the Chinese...there are other things on the menu Jenny!)
49. Make a wedding photo book (I have done ziltch with our wedding photos, that needs to change).
50. Wear more colour! (It's been creeping back into my wardrobe but I would like to get rid of 99.9% of the black!

So I'm half way through, which is pretty good to be honest. 50 more to come up with though which is a little scary but I'm sure we'll get there. There is a big one I'm avoiding putting on my list and avoiding thinking about but 2016 might be the time for it, but we'll see. Progress on that one later I think :)

If I don't see or speak to you before, have a wicked New Year. I will be posting here every two weeks (as agreed in Goal #19) and I promise I will!

2016 is going to be a blast!

I Vow To Be Courageous, Not Allow Myself Undone

I'm a little early doing a blog for 2016, the year is not yet over, in fact we have a good two and a bit weeks left. However, my plans for 2016 are well under way and I have decided that I am going to blog my plans and goals for the coming year, help hold myself accountable I guess by telling you all.

So to begin with, a few weeks ago I decided to order myself Leonie Dawson's Shining Year in Life Workbook. It's a workbook with different sections on different aspects of your life and it helps you find your goals and work towards them. They are amazing, apparently, and if they are as good as they say they are then 2016 is going to be rocking. As soon as I finish putting my goals in there...still need to figure a few out.

My aim for this time 2016 is to be happy and healthy, something I'm well, lets be honest, not right now. Happy, I am working on, I'm certainly happier about my circumstances than I have been although some areas require major improvement. Healthy? Excuse me while I laugh myself into a heart attack. But it's not just my physical body health. While, yes, I need to lose several pounds I also want to improve my mental health. I've made steps towards it, a couple of weeks ago I attended a course called "Developing Personal Resilience." For me, it came along at the right time, although a few months earlier wouldn't have hurt. This course kinda showed me what people have been telling me all along, that I need to stop worrying, that I need to take the time out for me, to stop stressing over every little detail and to stop fearing things I cannot control.

Yeah, yeah, I know you told me, shush.

So my workbook came the weekend after I did that course and it was perfect timing. I got started straight away, wrote the things that went wrong this year. the things I gained this year (house, yay!) and other such reflective questions.

I won't bore you with the rest of the workbook for now, but what I am going to share is the section called "100 things to do in 2016!". Now, of course I don't have all 100 things in my list yet, but I do currently have 29. So they are:-

1. Get more pagan articles published (I'm aiming for 2-3 and I know I have 1 getting published so far, so I only have two left to do!)
2. Fire Walk (This will happen at the camp I'm going to in August, I've done it before and it's fricking amazing!)
3. Speak publicly about my beliefs (something else I already have in the pipeline...)
4. Do NaNoWriMo! (And win, maybe)
5. Read more - Witchy Books in particular (do you have any idea how many books I have? No, neither do I. But I do have 98 Witchy books, and a lot of them are to be read!) 
6. Have more time for friends I don't see often
7. Learn Tarot
8. Take days off just for me (Day in the park, good book, cold drinks, that kinda thing)
9. Practice my spirituality (this one probably needs a blog of it's own)
10. Do the Fellowship of Isis course (No, not THAT ISIS)
11. Do the Order of Bards Ovates and Druids Course
12. Cook more meals from scratch (I think the changes to Weight Watchers will help with that)
13. Spend less time on the internet (Unless it's for a genuinely useful reason like researching for courses or articles. Imgur does not count as research, no matter how it's dressed)
14. Exercise more (more walking, running maybe?)
15. Stop procrastinating (If something needs done, just fucking do it, Jen!)
16. Reach 10st 4lb again (I can dream)
17. Have days out with Andy (Just to prove he is capable of leaving the house)
18. Have tech free days (Although I will end up watching a dvd with hubby, no laptop, no phone...might die.)
19. Blog fortnightly (lets see how long this one lasts!)
20. Plan out my weekly "chores" (lets see how long this one lasts too...)
21. Read 10 books of my shelf before I buy any new ones (of course this means between now and the 1st January I will be buying all of the books...)
22. Sell jewellery (I had an offer a few months ago, I think it's time to visit that offer :) )
23. Change hair colour and style (Yep - red is going babes!)
24. Learn a new skill (vague as fuck, but I'm sure I can learn something new!)
25. Go to Glastonbury by myself. (Looking at this as a retreat thing, time spent in the Chalice Wells and Goddess Temple to just chill and re-connect with my spiritual side)
26. Get a new job that suits me better (All of the yes)
27. Go to the cinema on my own (Never done it, and why the fuck not?)
28. Leave the country at least once (Depending on how it goes, going to Scotland may count, but preferably crossing the Channel)
29. Go somewhere in the UK I've never been before (Because it's sizable, this country of ours, and there's plenty I've never seen)

So that's what I've got so far, if you are good friends reading this, please question me on how I'm getting on monthly, I can bore you with all the details, but hopefully I will be blogging how I'm getting on and you will be able to find out that way. Blogging also comes under useful internetting time...totes.

So along with the workbook I have the planner, which is basically a diary but it has sections to help you plan your goals within your months so I am going to be doing that over the two weeks I have off over Christmas. 

2016 I am going to own you :) 

(And because I like to finish on a musical note, have a song from my album of 2016)